Transformative- adjective: causing or able to cause an important and lasting change in someone or something. Oft times when one thinks of transformation, a physical change is the first thought. Or maybe even sometimes a spiritual or radical change. But, what about a lifestyle change? No, not in reference to health or your inner being. But, in regards to your way of life and dynamic.
Recently, I have and am experiencing a transformative shift in my family dynamic. I am 40 years old with a husband and a 21-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son. Jada, my daughter, was already a pre-teen when we learned our family was growing and Jeremy Blake was on the way! Now, fast forward to 2018, we learned our family was growing yet again. You see, I have a younger sister, Tasha, just a year younger than my son. Tasha is a Dallas native and just recently moved to Houston along with our father. So, now Tasha is now a part of our immediate family as she and Jeremy attend school, church, and functions together. I am up being a mom all over again to another daughter.
The entire family is in the midst of transformation. Jada is more like her cool aunt than her niece. Jeremy is her playmate and brother rather than her nephew. And JJ, my husband, and I are her extra parents. And of course, my grandmother is Granny to everyone!
When we are dreaming of our future family, we all typically imagine a traditional family. But, what really is a traditional family? In many instances, in the American culture you find homes without elders. Most other cultures have multi-generational homes and environments. Our new family dynamic has definitely been and is a transformation. This is beyond family pictures and an extra Christmas stocking.
This transformation is one of evolution for us all. Tasha will have a mother in me that she needs to mold and sculpt her life in such a way she is forever changed. During this season of evolution for me, I am stretching who I am as a fearless female being able to adapt and make drastic moves for the betterment of everyone involved. This allows me to revisit my purpose. JJ and Jada have a very unique father-daughter relationship and this situation gives him the opportunity to have another little girl in the house while he watches his not so little girl flourish. At times, it has been like both Jeremy and Tasha are the only child since they were the youngest in their households. Now, they have each other and are creating sibling bonds (and mischief) without a hiccup.
While this not a typical thought of transformative living, it really is when you think about the face of America and blended families. Tasha is one of the catalysts for change in my world. She is a fun loving, naïve, sweet 8-year old that has no idea the impact she has had on our lives. She came in like a roaring storm and wrapped herself around our hearts. I have wondered on many occasions “Why God? I am busy. I have so much going on. I do not have the time or the energy for another task.” He told me this is much bigger than I am. He reminded me I have a task of being a shift changer for others and a catapult. That does not exclude my own family and me. To catapult others, I need another fresh testimony. And Tasha is my testimony.